I Tested a Break-Up App (So You Wouldn’t Have to)

Dating apps are everywhere.

Open the ‘lifestyle’ section of an app store and you’ll be bombarded with apps like Tinder, Bumble, Zoosk, OkCupid and Badoo. Open Facebook and you’ll see yet another dating app as ‘recommended for you’. Talk to your friends and Tinder will always be a topic of discussion. Can you see a theme yet?

The universe wants you to be in a relationship. Or, you know, get laid on a regular basis. They’re one and the same, right?

I’m all for online dating. Does that mean I’m going to make an account on every app known to man? Hell, no. No one has time for that. (I hope.) Right now, I’m on Tinder. However, living in a very remote location means there are few men to choose from (aka I better be happy with a man who is the typical ‘I’m a man’ hunter-gatherer type). 

In other words: I’m shit out of luck at the moment.

Luckily for you (and me), this post isn’t about falling in love – but the complete opposite.

Break up apps. They’re everywhere.

Open the ‘lifestyle’ section of the app store and they’re third from the top – right below Tinder and Hater, but above Her and Bumble. Browse websites like Business Insider, Vogue, and Cosmopolitan only to find they, too, are talking about break up apps.

2017, what a time to be alive.

I’m not heartbroken, but I decided to download an app (or two) to see what the hype is worth it. I mean, Business Insider and Vogue wrote about them, so they must be good. Right?

RX Breakup 

Rx Breakup is a free thirty-day plan to help you get over your ex (he’s a dick anyway). It also aims to help you identify any behaviours that may sabotage any new relationships. Each day opens a new topic and gives you ideas on what to do, what to write, and an explanation about how you may be feeling. You’re encouraged to write down any messages you might want to send your ex and then hide them away. (Because no one likes to be the girl who sends a million ‘whyyyyyyyyy’ messages.) It also encourages you to pick ’emergency contacts’ for you to call when you feel like you just need a chat.

My initial thoughts about this app was that it was a load of bullshit, but I’m starting to see how this would help people (and probably would have helped me a few years ago). Untangling yourself from a relationship – long or short – can be painful, and takes time. This app is there to help you for the (arguably) most painful part of a break up.

Would I get it? Probably not. I’m more of the burn-everything-to-the-ground, write-angsty-blog-posts, bitch-about-him-to-everyone type. I’m not the touchy-feely emotional type. I feel like this app would make me confront my emotions a bit too closely, but that can be a good thing, too.

Break Up!

This break up app is on the other end of the spectrum. By that, I mean that it’s time to go from the dumpee to the dumper. That’s right, they have an app to help you break up with someone too! 2017, am I right?

I thought it was a joke when I saw this app in the line up. I mean, no one can be that cowardly, right?

When I opened the app, it became pretty obvious that the break up app was a joke. (I hope.) I mean, “Sorry, but my leprosy is acting up again…” Really? I think you would have dodged a bullet if someone used that line. You get to scroll across and like or dislike each line. This alternates between break up lines and pick up lines.

I would recommend this app, but only on the basis of making memes and sending cliché pick up lines to your (girl)friends.

Because, you know, every girl needs a cheesy pick up line every now and again.



6 thoughts on “I Tested a Break-Up App (So You Wouldn’t Have to)

  1. 2017! You called it. My sweetie and I have been together for 9 years, and all signs point to #makeitlastforever. But if I were breaking up, I think I would check out the RX app. Relationships typically end for good reasons, but given that we’re social beings, we may need help detaching. Seems like RX Breakup could be helpful. Thanks for sharing.
    Me. Finks


  2. This is hilarious. I have never heard of this. I have tried online dating. I did happen to find my ex boyfriend on a site and a friend as well. But I only decided to meet both because they just do happen to work in my company haha.Otherwise I’m somewhat apprehensive about meeting random people,but this breakup app…Takes all of this to a whole new level I don’t think I want to go to! ,Haha


  3. I’ve heard of dating apps, and the new sex contract apps… but break up apps?? Well, that was new to me. But I can see how it might be helpful. I had a hard time breaking up with my last boyfriend… It was a nightmare. This could’ve saved me the trouble.


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