26th September 2016
We’re so close to halfway!
I have been a paranoid wreck for 90% of this pregnancy. I have been worried, worried, worried. About everything. There are so many ‘what ifs’ and horror stories that have floated through my mind. I mean, you hear about people who have a missed miscarriage and don’t find out until weeks later. I was petrified about being one of those people. That feeling was exaggerated once I found out that I was rh-negative, and the run in with bleeding.
Look at us now!
Eighteen weeks of being pregnant. It’s kind of crazy to think about. A lot can change in eighteen weeks.
It has made me look at myself, my relationships, my life, and everything else differently. I can’t quite explain it, but it feels like my brain has been completely rewired. I used to do something because I wanted to do it. Now I do something because it’ll benefit my son (and me) in the long run. I used to plan things because it was something I wanted to do. Now I think of the future and try to picture how my actions will benefit my son instead of myself. I’m not saying that I’ve turned into a completely selfless person, but my wants and needs have taken a backseat to what I need to do for this pregnancy and my son to be healthy.
I had another mild bleed. Not one to warrant a trip to hospital, but enough to raise my blood pressure. Just a little bit. Two weeks almost to the day of the first incident. I felt fine and baby was still kicking, so the midwife just told me to take it easy and keep an eye on things. It stopped as soon as it started and I continued on the week like nothing had happened. (I wish.)
You can see why I was so paranoid, right?
I thought the second trimester was supposed to be smooth sailing! Whoever said that was a big, fat, liar.
I did start looking into antenatal classes to attend because I know absolutely nothing about children. Whatsoever. I think I’ve held a baby once and now I’m going to have one of my own. Nothing like a trial by fire test, right? It’s a good thing that babies a) cry, b) are relatively durable (from what I’ve been told), and c) will not remember if the first few months of their lives are a hot mess. I found an antenatal class in Whitianga that is run monthly, so I might have to book in soon! Goodness knows I’m going to need the help.
I’ll be honest and admit that I can’t remember anything else happening during this week. (I blame baby brain.) It was probably the typical eat-sleep-rest-repeat cycle.
Pregnancy is so glamorous 😉