Girl Meets Boy: When Will I Move On?

 

“Do you reckon you’ve moved on?”

That question has been floating around in the back of my mind for the last couple of days.

I was talking to my friend when the topic of my ex came up. It wasn’t a long conversation, but it was hard to talk about. He is hard to talk about. I was blinking back tears the whole time because – truth be told – I still miss him.

A lot.

This boy I met one night at my friend’s house.


still remember walking into my friend’s kitchen and seeing him. That part of the evening is clear as day.

I had been casually seeing someone when I met this boy. It didn’t take me long to figure out that I was ready to move on and try again with someone else. Within the month, I sent an ‘I can’t do this anymore’ message to my man friend and forgot about him. Call me crazy because I probably am but I was more interested in a boy I had known for a month than one I had known for a year.

It’s hard to believe that one night, one chance meeting and one decision has changed everything.

Yet here we are.

Yet here am.


Am I moving on?

I feel like my friend asked a valid question, but it is still a hard one to answer. She asked the question after I admitted that I had cut communication for a few days to sort my head out. I think that should have been answer enough.

Have I moved on? Can I move on?

I guess the answer is yes and no.


am moving on in the fact that I know he isn’t mine.

He’s in England, for goodness sake. He’s moving on and doing the exact things he said he was going to do. He’s doing exactly what he wanted to do. Right from the start. Ultimately, I knew that he was going to leave.

I would be lying through my teeth if I said that I was happy about him being in England. I can name a million places I’d prefer him to be instead of a country on the other side of the world. The first being here. With me. On the other hand, I am happy that he’s doing what he wanted to do. That was the whole point in me telling him to go. I really, truly wanted him to go and live out the adventure he wanted to have. It would have been unfair to ask him to stay even though it damn near killed me to tell him to go.

So, here’s the truth: I haven’t moved on. Not completely.

Moving on from any situation and relationship is hard. Even at the best of times.

Add in some pregnancy hormones, a growing stomach, and a baby that kicks you every two seconds (especially at night), and you have a recipe for disaster a hot mess.

Every ultrasound is exciting, but it also feels like someone is twisting the knife a little deeper. Every form that requires my current relationship status is a sting. Every time I feel the baby kick is a blessing and a reminder.


I love being able to spread out in the bed and drool all over the pillows without being judged.

I love being able to sit in bed at night and write until the early hours of the morning.

I love being able to sleep in without having one million alarms go off (slight exaggeration) at some ungodly time in the morning.

That’s where it begins and ends.

I still wake up in the middle of the night and reach out for him.

I still have to listen to music or a TV show so I can go to sleep.

I still miss all the normal things.


Some days are better than others.

I’m learning there is no ‘right’ way to move on from someone.

One day you just wake up and it hurts less.

And a little less.

I am getting there.

It just takes time.

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7 thoughts on “Girl Meets Boy: When Will I Move On?

  1. Minus the pregnancy part, my ex and I are in a similar situation. We’ve kept in touch and maybe that makes it harder to really move past, but as neither of us are seeing anyone else it hasn’t motivated me to sever ties. Probably should though. I miss him a lot more than I’d like to admit.

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    1. It’s so hard! The killer thing is that it feels strange if I don’t talk to him though, so it’s a lose-lose situation! My ex just told me that he started seeing someone, but I had a feeling that he had been for a little while. It wasn’t a surprise or anything, just kind of confirmed what I already knew. Men suck. Why do they make us feel things?! Some days I wish there was a little switch that I could flip off in my brain haha.

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  2. It does take time. My ex broke up with me a year ago and I still have days where I miss him. Moving on happens in time but I don’t think its a set amount. Honestly I think moving on happens more with forgetting. Forgetting how it felt to be around that person, and forgetting I think comes with another wave of sadness. It’s a brutal process.

    http://moosmusing.com

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    1. ‘Brutal’ is a pretty apt word for it! Part of me doesn’t want to forget and the other part is desperate to…and when it starts to happen I feel terrible! It feels like a lose-lose situation sometimes. I think a large part of my problem is being pregnant haha. It has made me clingy like never before. The other part comes from knowing that he is one of the few people I have properly liked. Like-liked. I think I can count those people on one hand, so it sucks. To say the least. The good ol’ cliche of ‘time heals all wounds’ is true though. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take too much longer.

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  3. I had this exact situation minus the being pregnant… my boyfriend of 4 years decided he wanted to go travelling the world for 10 months… without me… and it massively sucked. We sort of stayed together till he left. And then we spoke for the first 4.5 months he was away. Then I tried cutting ties. Then we spoke again after two months of silence for another 3 months till he came home and I cut ties again a month ago (confusing I know)… ultimately cutting ties and stopping speaking has been best for me. I kept telling myself that when he came back things would go back to normal. But being away changes them and it changes you. It totally sucked at first but now I know it was the best thing for me to stop speaking to each other. I’m still not truly over him but I can definitely live without him now and the thought of not speaking anymore isn’t as daunting as it once was. I no longer think about all the things I miss anymore… not nearly as much anyway. And for the most part I feel like I can move on finally. I hope you feel better about it as time passes. No doubt once your little one is here you’ll be so busy you will move on naturally without even noticing you’re doing it!! Xx

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