These last twenty-four hours have been a whirlwind. To say the least.
Part of me is hoping that someone is going to shake me awake and this is going to be nothing but a bad dream. Do you ever get that feeling?
Yet, I’m figuring out that I’m only human.
I’m going to make mistakes. Some of them are going to be small mistakes and some of them are going to be life changing.
“As long as the world is turning and spinning, we’re gonna be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes.” – Mel Brooks.
There are going to be things that I wish I didn’t say or did or some little thing that I could repair. Right now I can think of at least three things that I wish I could change, but I can’t. And that is killing me.
All I can say is: I’m sorry. For everything. Truly sorry. I didn’t see things working out this way.
I think those words go for the past, present, and future mistakes of my life.
Because I’m sure there will be one or two.
I wish I could say that this is going to be the end of it, too. I think we both know that isn’t the truth. I think we both know that I’m only human. We’re only human. I’m going to make mistakes. Once or twice or even three times if I’m feeling really silly that particular day. Heck, you’ll probably make some mistakes too. The only difference is that I have a blog where I can spill my guts about it, and you don’t.
Right now I’m doing the typical girly thing, which is probably something you hate. Or maybe you’re like me and you get all angsty sometimes. I mean, all bloggers do that sometimes, right? Please tell me I’m not the only one.
I’m sitting in the dark and listening to Broods while I type out this blog post. I’m cuddling a hot water bottle, I’ve downed a bottle of chocolate milk, and photographs are scattered everywhere. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like the perfect angsty writing situation. It has been a while since I’ve done this and it feels good.
I will be the first one to admit that I have royally f*cked up.
I am far from perfect, but I did my best to move on from what I did. It worked. For a while. Now it seems like those mistakes are calling me back and there is no escaping from them this time.
I don’t expect you to understand or for you to forgive me.
I just want you to know that I’m sorry.