Being Single and Finding Yourself in a New City

Part of me feels like I have already answered this question. I’m going to answer it again for the blogging challenge that I’m taking part in though!

Undoubtedly, being single can be awesome. It can be like one giant, never-ending party. You don’t have to answer to anyone and you can really be your own person.

Have you wanted to blog in bed at 6:45am (which is when I started this post) but you couldn’t because that pesky partner of yours was sleeping? Well, have no fear! You can do what you want now. Have you wanted to stay up late, drink lots of wine, and eat pizza off of someone? Sure you have! You can do that, too. I’m definitely not going to sit around and judge you for fulfilling some kinky fantasy.

I can come up with a million reasons as to why being single is awesome. I am, however, struggling to think of a particular moment that made me go ‘Heck yes, being single is really awesome!’ You know? Being single is not something that constantly plays on my mind.

This whole blog post is relying on me finding that being single is awesome moment though, so I am going to try my best! Here goes nothing 😉

Being Single and Finding Yourself in a New City, Kendel @ Little Misadventures #NZbloggers
Photo is by Thomas Brault; edited by me

I didn’t think it at the time, but being single in a new city is awesome.

Think about it. You’re new to town and no one knows who you are, which means that it is the perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself. Now, did I do this? No. Ha. I did not. Simply because I cannot change who I am at the drop of a hat. I threw my whole life for a loop (for a hot minute) by moving to Auckland, so I wasn’t about to change my whole identity as well.

So why was moving to Auckland when I was single so awesome?

It forced me way outside my comfort zone.

I went out into the city where I knew no one.

I went to university where I knew no one.

I came home to people I barely knew.

Being single and (more or less) alone in a new city forced me to take care of myself. I couldn’t just call up a friend or boyfriend to come and help me at the drop of a hat. If I wanted to get food or fill up my car, then I had to do it myself. If I wanted to go explore the city, then I had to get comfortable with doing that alone.

I have lost count of how many times I have driven into Auckland Central, parked my car and just walked around the city. Just walked with no destination. I don’t know many people who do that now. Heck, I decided to move to Auckland after visiting the city only a handful of times myself. I hadn’t been to my college campus. I hadn’t been to the North Shore. I definitely hadn’t been to the Hibiscus Coast, which is now the place that I call home.

I have always been a pretty independent person, but moving to Auckland took it to a whole new extreme. In Hamilton, I had friends within a couple of kilometres of my house. I had the college campus one kilometre away. I could literally walk to the city centre in twenty or so minutes if I wanted to. In Auckland, I knew two people; both of which were at least a half hour from my house. They had lives. They couldn’t just drop everything for me at a moments notice (nor would I expect them to really). The college campus was twenty kilometres away. The city centre was half an hour away via motorway.

The decision to move to Auckland was a test and a wakeup call.

Could I survive all by myself?

Well, I’m still here. Aren’t I? Yes, my cooking skills might extend to chopping. Yes, I still need a GPS to get around the city. Yes, I do like my quiet nights in. But I’m here, and I love every moment of it.

So, I don’t think this was a moment where I realised that being single is awesome. I think that this was a moment when I realised that it is okay to be alone and it is okay to embrace being alone. Even if only for a moment.

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4 thoughts on “Being Single and Finding Yourself in a New City

  1. Wow, I can totally relate! I actually moved to Auckland (from the US) for a job RIGHT as I was breaking up with a long-term partner. I found myself suddenly on my own in a brand new country and city. I love when you talk about just walking around Auckland aimlessly – I did that a bunch :). Thanks for sharing!

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  2. This is an awesome post Kendel! I think being single as a young adult for a while is a really good thing to help figure out who you are without any close influence and moving to a new city just steps that up a notch. I’m glad it’s worked out well for you and that you’re good at finding those silver lining moments.

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  3. I can relate to this. I moved to a new town where no-one knew me. It was scary but exciting to have this clean slate and find out who I was. It’s as if my world expanded. And I definitely love the perks of being single.

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