I am well-known for being the single friend.
I am used to this. I am perpetually single. This, however, is not because I don’t try. I try. Probably more than you think I do. I am just incredibly picky when it comes to relationships and I have no issue whatsoever with cutting people out of my life if I don’t think they’re good for me. I have been on more than enough first dates to know the ‘red flags’. That being said, being single sucks. Being single can really suck sometimes. I’m not pretending that it is butterflies and rainbows all the time.
I am independent. I have a lot of things that I enjoy doing and things that I believe all single girls should enjoy doing. Because heck, we can (and should) do a lot more than sit around knitting, hoarding cats, and waiting for “Prince Charming” to come along. I hate to say this, but if you’re a male and in my life then you’re there because I want you to be, not because I need you.
That being said, if you’re of the male variety and in my life, then you should know that I have a lot of respect for you. I will always make time for you – no matter what. I may not need you, but wanting you in my life means more. A lot more.
Sometimes you just want someone.
I want a person. Not a tiny human being that relies on me for everything, but just someone who is “all mine”. Sounds possessive, no? Sometimes I just want to know that I have a person out there somewhere that cares about me and wants to spend time with me…even when I snore and steal all the blankets.
Cooking skills become limited.
I do know a recipe or two, but they aren’t part of an extensive list. I know maybe five recipes off my heart. Ten on a really good day. I don’t really think about it, because I only have to cook for myself. Why should I care if I’m eating chicken for the fourth time this week? Not just my cooking skills, but eating alone. Always. It can get to you after a little while.
Not being in love.
I am the hugest cynic that you will meet. I rarely think that things are going to work out and if they are working out, then I’m constantly waiting for that other shoe to drop. I have learned that sometimes there isn’t another shoe. I go to the city a lot, so I see couples a lot. Everywhere. Seeing how in love they are does hurt sometimes. I miss it. If being crazy in love with someone who feels the same way was an option, I think I know what I’d pick. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been single for a long time, and being single can really suck when all your friends are coupled up.
It doesn’t happen a lot, but I do get lonely. So lonely that I consider going back to an ex-boyfriend or partner of mine. I know, so shoot me. It’s the familiarity that gets me. I just want a person who really knows me. An ex is the most logical step, no? Rational me knows that I won’t go back to an ex, but lonely, single me is a completely different person. Good thing I’ve got her under lock and key 90% of the time 😉
Not having someone to share stuff with.
I have to admit: not a lot happens to me. But when it does, I always want to tell someone who is close to me. When I’m dating someone, they are the person that I want to share things with. Good, bad, embarrassing, borings – anything. If something happens to me, then you can guarantee that I want to share it with someone. Being single sucks when you realise that you don’t have that ‘person’.
That isn’t your friends or family.
That damned cold side of the bed.
It is a real problem. I sleep in a ball so I don’t get cold. I remember that a male is like a portable, cuddly heater. He keeps the bed warm…even when you’re already melting. Winter is the worst. Nothing makes you more aware of your single status than winter.
When I was little, I had family to take care of me when I was sick. Pain killers, good ice blocks, ice packs and all the tea that I could stomach. I got food poisoning last year, and whilst I was glad I was alone, it would have been nice to have someone there to keep me entertained between the bouts of throwing up. Everyone likes being looked after, whether it’s in sickness or health. We like to know that people care.
Answering those pesky questions.
I feel like I constantly have to justify myself to people who are coupled up and in their love bubble. Sorry that I’m not riding the love train, but I am happy (most of the time). Yes, this is a choice. No, I am not crazy (yet). I came up with a list of phrases and believe me, I have heard them all.
Not having someone who is there for you.
I miss having someone who would put me first or drop whatever they’re doing to help me
#whipped. Kidding. I have friends and family who would do those things, but you just get to a stage when you want someone that you haven’t known your whole life. When you’re single, you are pretty much the only person you have. Sometimes that’s okay, but sometimes it reminds you how much being single can suck. Only sometimes.
I’m not talking about sex, but that’s nice, too. I’m talking about a hug, a kiss on the cheek or being able to cuddle together. The normal everyday things. They are the physical things that make me fall for a person. Physical touch and quality time are my strongest love languages. Getting a hug from a friend is nice, but the emotional connection isn’t there. Not really. So, potential boyfriends, please just hold my hand. That is all I really need.
This wasn’t meant to be a sob story, but I just thought that I’d point out that I am a human and I do miss people. Sometimes.