Following My Heart

Well, well, well, it looks like I’ve done it again.

I’ve changed my college major. Again. What’s that saying? Third time’s the charm, no?

I’m starting to think that I could make a career of studying at college. I’ve changed my mind enough. I’ll probably be here until I’m well into my thirties. I did my first flip-flop when I changed my minors in my Bachelor of Arts. I changed my minor from Spanish to writing studies. Not a big deal. I barely blinked at that decision.

It was a bit harder when I changed from a Bachelor of Arts to a Bachelor of Communication. That change had me looking at communication programmes around the country. I stumbled upon the same degree (with more majors and minors) offered at a college in Auckland. I applied. I got in.

At the start of this year I packed my bags and moved to Auckland with the dream of pursuing a degree in public relations. That decision was hard, too. It’s no secret that I struggled last semester. I was so close to running away with my tail between my legs. That is how unhappy I was. I told myself just one semester. One semester was all I had to get through before I chose what I would do.

Last semester took a lot of struggle and dedication. Not just to go to class, but to study, to do assignments and to generally get out of bed every day. I was riding that struggle bus. Every. Damn. Day. There was a brief flash of inspiration, but it still wasn’t enough. It made me want to know more about the career that I was studying for, but there was still a small part of me telling me that I was making a mistake.

Well, I did it. I survived the semester. I even survived the exams.

Grades have been released and I got A- and B+ in two classes that I thought I had completely bombed. All in all, I’m pretty pleased with myself.

I’m unsure how many of you know this, but I’ve wanted to be a journalist for forever. The first time I told someone that I wanted to be a journalist when I was ten or eleven years old. That was a decade ago. I told a lecturer of mine the same thing and he asked me why I was messing about with public relations when the college offered journalism as a major. I didn’t have a reply. I didn’t know why I wasn’t following my heart. Maybe I was just scared and convinced that it wouldn’t possibly live up to my childhood dreams.

I was casually dating a guy for ten months (or so) and he had a tattoo on his foot. It read: never try, never know. It was a matching tattoo had he and his brothers had gotten while they were in Thailand. That is a phrase that has stuck in my head. Never try, never know. I have my own tattoo-carpe diem-on my shoulder-blade. Why wasn’t I following my heart?

I had been reading books upon books on public relations and almost every single one felt the need to defend the profession. A book (author/s) felt that they had to constantly defend their lifestyle. I felt the same way about it. I had a total stranger call me a “spin doctor” (in a light-hearted manner), but it still stung. I met someone and they asked what I was studying. I replied with, “Please don’t judge me, but I major in public relations.”

Point is: I felt like I had to defend my degree and my life choices when I wasn’t qualified yet. I wasn’t proud of what I was studying. I was proud to say that I was studying linguistics or Spanish when I was at Waikato, but that wasn’t the case at Massey.

So.

I am now majoring in journalism.

Hallelujah.

I’m still trying to work through some of the compulsory classes for my degree, but hopefully this change puts me on track. I already feel the smile spreading across my face when I say, “I’m majoring in journalism.” Something just feels right.

Third time’s the charm.

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19 thoughts on “Following My Heart

    1. Thanks love! I am so excited about it all! It’s pretty hard to say anything definite before lectures start, but it feels like I’m on the right track 🙂 I’m doing three compulsory first year papers and an online paper next semester, so I don’t think it’ll give me a “real taste” of the journalism side of things…but hopefully next year will 🙂 Fingers crossed!

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  1. I cannot even express how excited I am for you. I’m a journalism major and it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I love that it’s a profession you have to have a passion for. It means you get to meet some REALLY cool other people in your major. Good luck girl!

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    1. Aw, thanks lovie! 🙂 Fingers crossed I get to meet some cool people! My major is actually based in another city, so now I have to decide if I want to do half online and half internally, all via distance or if I want to move cities again. I am excited though! Can’t wait for the next semesters to start 🙂

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  2. Hopefully you will now be on the right track to achieving your dream job. I completely understand why you wanted to change. Believe me, I almost changed at the end of my first year, but instead I carried on and now I have a degree in a subject I don’t care about any more. But I’m considering taking a masters in a completely different subject to change my career path.

    Best of luck with journalism!!

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    1. Fingers crossed! I could see myself heading down the same path, so I wanted to see if I could change it before that happened. I’m also pretty interested in criminology, so I might end up carrying on and getting a degree in that as well 🙂 Thank you lovie!

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