7 Things No Single Girl Wants (Or Needs) To Hear. Ever.

I’m perpetually single. I think we all know this by now.

In fact, I think that being single is awesome. Don’t get me wrong, I think that being in a relationship is great too, but there is nothing wrong with being single. We aren’t sad. We aren’t desperate, and (most of the time) we aren’t lonely. We aren’t a wounded cat that you have to bring into your house and feed up (although I wouldn’t say no if pizza and coffee were on offer).

I’m young. A twenty-something college student living in an absolutely massive city.

I am living my life. I’m not short on time to find “The One”. If he even exists. Right now I’m convinced he’s hiding somewhere in Atlantis.

I am happy, despite the fact that I am so single it hurts. Apparently some people can’t understand how ‘happy’ and ‘single’ exist in the same sentence. At 23, I have gotten the cliche phrases that are designed to ‘cheer me up’. You know, because I’m over here crying into my coffee and amassing a small army of cats.

Honestly, college (and your twenties) is the one time you should be 100% single and doing whatever (read: whoever) you want.

So give us ‘sad’ single girls a chance, because we’re probably happier than you think.

7 Things You Should Never Say To a Single Girl, Kendel @ Little Misadventures #NZBloggers

1. YOU’RE SO LUCKY. I WISH I WAS SINGLE.

Solution: Break up with whoever you’re dating.

I don’t know if you’re saying it for my benefit or not, but it sounds like you’re the unhappy one here. I know the grass is always greener, but you might not want to say that to a single girl. You’re likely to get the side eye and a swift punch to the tit. You also might want to talk to your partner. It sounds like you have major issues. Maybe he just doesn’t go down on you enough. (Which is a major issue and I would definitely talk to him about it.) 

2. IT’LL HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

Kind of like getting your period for the first time, right? Because that sure as shit surprised me. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has heard this cliche. It is usually accompanied by a hug, sad eyes, or a reassuring pat on the hand. Sometimes a combination of all three if you are really lucky. Do you know what will happen when you least expect it?

Swift punch to the tit. Just don’t say it.

3. HEY, DO YOU MIND IF I SET YOU UP WITH ___? HE’S A REALLY NICE GUY.

Ah, the ‘really nice guy’ line. We’ve all heard it before, right? Maybe you were the one who said it.

Need I remind you that I’m single by choice? No, I don’t want to be set up. Especially not with a ‘really nice guy’. I need a guy who isn’t afraid to pull my hair, not a guy who will open doors for me. (Although that would be nice too.) 

Don’t you worry, I will put myself out there when I am well and truly ready.

4. BUT WHYYYYYY?

Please refer to above.

I’m single by choice.

I have a whole list of reasons why being single is awesome.

Read them and maybe you’ll decide to follow in my footsteps (or maybe you won’t, whatever). I like being able to leave my underwear lying around and have crumbs in my bed without having to worry about whether the next fuckboy will judge me or not. (He probably will.)  I like being able to blog about a brilliant idea at 1am and not having to share the last piece of pizza. I guess that just makes me a bit selfish, no?

5. WELL, NOW YOU CAN LET YOURSELF GO.

Bitch, please.

How am I going to trick a man into dating me get a boyfriend if I look like a sad street urchin? 

6. I THOUGHT YOU WERE WITH ___?

Yeah, well now I’m not.

Nine times out of ten, the guy has been in my bed and out the door for a couple of weeks before a friend asks me that question. The other time I have been single for so long that I have started a fantasy cat league on the internet. Because that’s a thing, right?

I am pretty picky about who I date and who I mention to my friends or family. (Although sometimes I have a humble brag if he’s a super babe.) 

Please, pay attention. If I don’t mention a man for a week then it is pretty safe to assume that he has gotten the boot.

7. YOU DO YOU, BOO.

Oh, I am. Don’t you worry.

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32 thoughts on “7 Things No Single Girl Wants (Or Needs) To Hear. Ever.

  1. Haha, I definitely remember those.

    The only thing I ever liked to hear when I was single is “SWEET! Bar? Vacation? Girl Time?” from my friends who wanted to just embrace that I had more time for them.

    The worst one? “I don’t know how you manage!?” … what, like I’m broken?

    To be fair, I am behind the “happens when you least expect it” because in my experience that’s true, lol. There I was single by choice and BAM, man of my dreams. Que Sera Sera! great post 🙂

    http://www.cookwineandthinker.comer

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    1. Ha, gosh I wish I heard that one! Although the fact that I haven’t might be due to all my friends (myself included) being broke students hahaha.I’ve had that “managing” one before. If you look at me then you’d see that I am 100% fine. Ha. My number two is a bit tongue in cheek for a few of my friends. I actually did meet an incredibly nice man (while he was shirtless) on the beach ha. Don’t really want to write that for the whole blogosphere to see though 😉

      Thanks love!

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  2. The only one I’m guilty of is never dying secret plans to set one of my sisters up with one of my favorite college buddies. Of course I’ve mentioned the evil secret plan to my sister (and my hopes that finally they’ll someday see how perfect they are for each other will only die when one of them starts dating)…but sisters have to have a few free passes, right? The “I wish I were single” one is just weird. I enjoyed being single but wishing away my husband? Creepy.

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    1. I guess you’re allowed a pass or two 😉 Some people say weird stuff. I mean, I’ve definitely had that feeling in some of my relationships, but I guess that just means that I wasn’t in the right relationship. Eh, who knows? We all want what we can’t have and we don’t know what to do with it when we finally have it haha.

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  3. Definitely the oh, but your’e (pretty , nice) etc is one I’ve heard. The other thing that I hate is when you finally do find someone and they are like – Oh, so when are you getting married or when are you having kids or so when you going to move in together ? I’m 27 and will be 28 next month and I am so tired of the above ones. It’s like let me live my life and it’s none of your business. Unfortunately whether you are single or dating , there are certain phrases we really don’t want to hear.

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    1. Ah, I’m glad I’m only 21 in that case 😉 There’s always some sort of stereotype or scenario that we have to live into and I find it a bit ridiculous sometimes. I 100% agree with the “it’s none of your business” bit. Some people can be so pushy/nosy and it gets beyond rude.

      Sometimes I think it would be easier to escape to a foreign country where no one can speak my language/I can’t speak theirs haha.

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  4. When I saw this on pinterest I was expecting pick up lines. I have probably said this to a single friend once and a while and I agree these definitely are the best things to say. I usually stick with Are you happy? And if they are, awesome! Great post!

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    1. I wish they were pick up ones! Ha. I’ve only ever had one used on me before and it was damn awful. “Hey, wanna go halves in a baby?” Seriously. No. Haha. I wish I had enough pick up lines to create a whole post!

      That is probably the one thing I would actually want to hear…and 99% of people don’t ask. Ha. Ironic, really. Thanks love! Glad you liked it 🙂

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        1. I have no idea what I was going to say, but it was probably something like picking a person and that being ‘it’ for the rest of your life (or several years). I was a biiiiiiig cynic when I wrote this post. I’ve had a bit more experience and a few people to change my opinion on being in a relationship. It definitely isn’t the worst thing in the world haha.

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  5. Wait until they start throwing your age into the dating issue and talking about marriage… like, I wish the previous generation would understand that our generation is in NO RUSH to get married and our goals changed from having a family to starting a career first! I absolutely hate it when they start comparing love lives of “other people your age”.

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    1. RIGHT?! Good lord, or the ‘when I was your age’ line. That is the absolute worst! I’ve had to remind people that things were a lot different back in their day. Heck, things were different just a few years ago too! EVERYONE was having babies left, right and centre. Coming from someone who just had a baby. Haha. But you know what I mean. Times change!

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  6. “It will happen when you’ll least expect it”, this one deserves the award of the most annoying thing to be told ahahah.

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