Looking Back: May 2015

May was the month that I ‘woke up’ to my life and where I was. It’s no secret that April was hard for me and, honestly, March wasn’t either. Nothing wakes you up to life like being kicked in the ass. Almost literally.
looking-back-may-little-misadventures-kendelMay was hard. Really hard. I think I blanked part of it out, because I’m having a really tough time remembering what happened. Whoops? Either that or my life is just so uninteresting that there is nothing to remember. Ah, gosh. I hope it isn’t the second one.

I know I dropped the ball when it came to my assignments. I swear I am the worst college student and some days I wonder what the heck I’m even doing here. Honestly. I think I spend 90% of my time procrastinating and 10% cramming information into my brain at midnight and submitting assignments at 2am. That’s normal for college, right?

I even managed to have ‘words’ with one of my lecturers. It was rough. He really kicked my ass, but it was exactly what I needed (although I didn’t see it at the time). I think I mentioned that I had been struggling in April, but I really hit my breaking point and I was considering dropping out (again) in May. I was 100% ready to throw it all away for a semester and take a breather, but I didn’t. And I’m glad I didn’t.

I pulled myself together and submitted the rest of my assignments. Phew. I finished my tests. Phew. I attended a lecture held by the managing director of Porter Novelli, New Zealand. It was eye-opening. I talked to the lecturer who kicked my ass and we ended the semester on a good note. I have a lot of respect for him, as a lecturer and human being in general, so I would have been disappointed if I had left it on a sour(ish) note. Classes finished for the semester and study week(s) officially began. I’m mildly ashamed to say that I spent a good half of the first week doing nothing. I really have this procrastination thing down.

It was my mum’s birthday towards the end of May, so I went to the beach for her birthday weekend. It was full of good food, bad weather, and doing a heck of not a lot. I’m not complaining. Sometimes I just need to get away from everything and forget for a while. Part of me believes that I would be completely content to run into the forest and live off the land for the rest of my life. It seems like a solid plan until I realise that I don’t know how to garden…and that I would probably kill any plant that I did have. That’s why I got a cactus for my birthday. He’s still alive and well. He still likes to stick my finger with needles. I’m not a fan of that.

I had a lot of coffee dates with a friend from college. I’m sure that’s where 90% of my money goes. Coffee. Coffee and protein bars, because I’m weirdly addicted to both. I’m not hating it either. My friend and I ended up watching Pitch Perfect 2…and I have to say that I’m not a fan. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it. At least I can say that I’ve seen it, right?

I spent a lot of time on the beach and driving around aimlessly. That’s what I do when I’m thinking about something major. It may come as a shock to some of you, but I was (kinda, sorta) casually seeing someone for the past eleven months. It wasn’t anything serious. Just lunches, dinners and the occasional coffee, but it really meant something to me. I liked him. It seems crazy to end something while you still like the person, right? It took getting out of his car and walking away for me to realise that I just ended a good thing because I was happy. Insanity. I’m tellin’ ya. I have no regrets about the time we had. It He was exactly what I needed for those eleven months, but now I want something more. I just hope I’m ready whenever this ‘something more’ shows up.

I made friends and met new people. I decided against dropping out (again). I’ve been up and down. I changed my mind and back again a million times. I spent six hundred minutes talking to people on the phone. I rediscovered my love of this song (Seriously, please listen to it. It is mind-blowing). I watched my bank balance get lower and lower. I got really good at staying awake until 3am and waking up in time for a 9am lecture.

May was a month of highs and lows, but I never expected it to be easy. Life is never easy. It might not be sunshine and smiles all the time, but I like where it seems to be heading.


15 thoughts on “Looking Back: May 2015

  1. I constantly battle back and forth on whether or not to take time off of school. My decisions changes on a daily basis so I can completely relate to you on that.

    But, on the rest of this: Keep your head up 🙂 It’s a growing up process, you live and you learn.


    1. Haha yes. I swear I would take time off if I had a solid plan or an opportunity that I was really keen on. I think I’m just a bit frustrated because I’m supposed to be graduating this year, but now I have two years to go >.< Gah, degree changes. Kill me.

      Thanks lovie! I'm trying to tell myself that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I too, battled being a good student in college last semester. It was hard. I had a big case of depression and that stopped a lot of things.

    Just keep hanging on.


  3. Oh I found it hard to tackle the assignments when I was in uni. Took a while to realise the deadline was soon and I had to cram it all in with all-nighters to complete projects. Glad you completed them all and pulled your weight 🙂

    Little Fred looks cute! I want to get myself a mini cactus for my desk at work. Needs some more greenery here…


    1. I think I was in a bit of a rut. I turned down a pretty major opportunity to study at Lancaster University, so I have to remember to take my ego out of the equation sometimes.

      I’m in love with Fred! Haha I’m considering getting another one so he can have a little friend 🙂


    1. It definitely doesn’t! It would just be nice to have a little bit of ‘smooth sailing’ every now and again! Ha this semester has just felt like one battle after another. It’s all in the mindset though 🙂 Hopefully I can pull myself together for the next semester! Thank you lovie! 😀


  4. So glad I stumbled across your blog. I can relate to so much of what you mentioned. I was in a similar situation and ended something because I wanted something more recently. It was hard because he did make me happy, but it was the right thing to do. No regrets.

    Sarah xx



    1. Yes! That was my situation 10000000%. He made me happy when we were together, but I just needed more than what he could give me. We were in a rather unconventional relationship, so it just wasn’t an option (unfortunately). We’re friends. It’s good. Definitely no regrets 🙂 (about the decision to date him or to end things)


  5. Coffee and protein bars are literally the only place that my money goes, other than travelling around Europe that is!
    I still haven’t seen Pitch Perfect 2 because in France everything is SOOO delayed 😦


    1. Haha I just got an iced coffee and protein bar this afternoon! Why does coffee and chocolate have to go so well together? Marriage in heaven. I swear.
      Ah, Pitch Perfect 2 still has me a bit ‘ehhh’ about it. I watched it again a couple of days ago and the comments bothered me even more (if that’s possible) haha. I know they’re all in good humour and none of my friends see it as bad taste, but it just bothers me for some reason. Still a good(ish) movie though 🙂 I’m definitely more of a fast cars and explosions type of girl haha.


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