Looking Back: May 2015

May was the month that I ‘woke up’ to my life and where I was. It’s no secret that April was hard for me and, honestly, March wasn’t either. Nothing wakes you up to life like being kicked in the ass. Almost literally.
looking-back-may-little-misadventures-kendelMay was hard. Really hard. I think I blanked part of it out, because I’m having a really tough time remembering what happened. Whoops? Either that or my life is just so uninteresting that there is nothing to remember. Ah, gosh. I hope it isn’t the second one.

I know I dropped the ball when it came to my assignments. I swear I am the worst college student and some days I wonder what the heck I’m even doing here. Honestly. I think I spend 90% of my time procrastinating and 10% cramming information into my brain at midnight and submitting assignments at 2am. That’s normal for college, right?

I even managed to have ‘words’ with one of my lecturers. It was rough. He really kicked my ass, but it was exactly what I needed (although I didn’t see it at the time). I think I mentioned that I had been struggling in April, but I really hit my breaking point and I was considering dropping out (again) in May. I was 100% ready to throw it all away for a semester and take a breather, but I didn’t. And I’m glad I didn’t.

I pulled myself together and submitted the rest of my assignments. Phew. I finished my tests. Phew. I attended a lecture held by the managing director of Porter Novelli, New Zealand. It was eye-opening. I talked to the lecturer who kicked my ass and we ended the semester on a good note. I have a lot of respect for him, as a lecturer and human being in general, so I would have been disappointed if I had left it on a sour(ish) note. Classes finished for the semester and study week(s) officially began. I’m mildly ashamed to say that I spent a good half of the first week doing nothing. I really have this procrastination thing down.

It was my mum’s birthday towards the end of May, so I went to the beach for her birthday weekend. It was full of good food, bad weather, and doing a heck of not a lot. I’m not complaining. Sometimes I just need to get away from everything and forget for a while. Part of me believes that I would be completely content to run into the forest and live off the land for the rest of my life. It seems like a solid plan until I realise that I don’t know how to garden…and that I would probably kill any plant that I did have. That’s why I got a cactus for my birthday. He’s still alive and well. He still likes to stick my finger with needles. I’m not a fan of that.

I had a lot of coffee dates with a friend from college. I’m sure that’s where 90% of my money goes. Coffee. Coffee and protein bars, because I’m weirdly addicted to both. I’m not hating it either. My friend and I ended up watching Pitch Perfect 2…and I have to say that I’m not a fan. I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it. At least I can say that I’ve seen it, right?

I spent a lot of time on the beach and driving around aimlessly. That’s what I do when I’m thinking about something major. It may come as a shock to some of you, but I was (kinda, sorta) casually seeing someone for the past eleven months. It wasn’t anything serious. Just lunches, dinners and the occasional coffee, but it really meant something to me. I liked him. It seems crazy to end something while you still like the person, right? It took getting out of his car and walking away for me to realise that I just ended a good thing because I was happy. Insanity. I’m tellin’ ya. I have no regrets about the time we had. It He was exactly what I needed for those eleven months, but now I want something more. I just hope I’m ready whenever this ‘something more’ shows up.

I made friends and met new people. I decided against dropping out (again). I’ve been up and down. I changed my mind and back again a million times. I spent six hundred minutes talking to people on the phone. I rediscovered my love of this song (Seriously, please listen to it. It is mind-blowing). I watched my bank balance get lower and lower. I got really good at staying awake until 3am and waking up in time for a 9am lecture.

May was a month of highs and lows, but I never expected it to be easy. Life is never easy. It might not be sunshine and smiles all the time, but I like where it seems to be heading.

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15 thoughts on “Looking Back: May 2015

  1. I constantly battle back and forth on whether or not to take time off of school. My decisions changes on a daily basis so I can completely relate to you on that.

    But, on the rest of this: Keep your head up 🙂 It’s a growing up process, you live and you learn.

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    1. Haha yes. I swear I would take time off if I had a solid plan or an opportunity that I was really keen on. I think I’m just a bit frustrated because I’m supposed to be graduating this year, but now I have two years to go >.< Gah, degree changes. Kill me.

      Thanks lovie! I'm trying to tell myself that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I too, battled being a good student in college last semester. It was hard. I had a big case of depression and that stopped a lot of things.

    Just keep hanging on.

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  3. Oh I found it hard to tackle the assignments when I was in uni. Took a while to realise the deadline was soon and I had to cram it all in with all-nighters to complete projects. Glad you completed them all and pulled your weight 🙂

    Little Fred looks cute! I want to get myself a mini cactus for my desk at work. Needs some more greenery here…

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    1. I think I was in a bit of a rut. I turned down a pretty major opportunity to study at Lancaster University, so I have to remember to take my ego out of the equation sometimes.

      I’m in love with Fred! Haha I’m considering getting another one so he can have a little friend 🙂

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    1. It definitely doesn’t! It would just be nice to have a little bit of ‘smooth sailing’ every now and again! Ha this semester has just felt like one battle after another. It’s all in the mindset though 🙂 Hopefully I can pull myself together for the next semester! Thank you lovie! 😀

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  4. So glad I stumbled across your blog. I can relate to so much of what you mentioned. I was in a similar situation and ended something because I wanted something more recently. It was hard because he did make me happy, but it was the right thing to do. No regrets.

    Sarah xx

    thingssarahloves.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Yes! That was my situation 10000000%. He made me happy when we were together, but I just needed more than what he could give me. We were in a rather unconventional relationship, so it just wasn’t an option (unfortunately). We’re friends. It’s good. Definitely no regrets 🙂 (about the decision to date him or to end things)

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  5. Coffee and protein bars are literally the only place that my money goes, other than travelling around Europe that is!
    I still haven’t seen Pitch Perfect 2 because in France everything is SOOO delayed 😦

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    1. Haha I just got an iced coffee and protein bar this afternoon! Why does coffee and chocolate have to go so well together? Marriage in heaven. I swear.
      Ah, Pitch Perfect 2 still has me a bit ‘ehhh’ about it. I watched it again a couple of days ago and the comments bothered me even more (if that’s possible) haha. I know they’re all in good humour and none of my friends see it as bad taste, but it just bothers me for some reason. Still a good(ish) movie though 🙂 I’m definitely more of a fast cars and explosions type of girl haha.

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