I’m perpetually single. I’m the only one in my group of friends that is single. It has always been that way…and I’m quite happy. Shocked? I actually like being single and despite what I’ve said to my friends, they’ve taken it upon themselves to give me every speech under the sun. You know, the typical ones: “Don’t worry, you’ll find a good one soon,” “He just doesn’t realise how good you are!”, and “He’ll regret it one day”.
Their words are sweet, but they get a little repetitive after a while. The speeches are like the excuses that men splutter after standing you up..if you’re lucky (or not) to hear from them again. If you’ve heard one then you’ve heard them all. I take it all in my stride because I truly believe that being single is awesome.
Don’t believe me?
I’ve taken the time to compile a list of reasons why being single is awesome and why you should absolutely be single at least ten times in your twenties. Being single is not something to be scared of. It doesn’t mean that you’re going to end up as a crazy cat lady or some spinster with a large collection of stamps. It means that, like me, you are careful about who you spend your time and energy on. That isn’t a bad thing.
You are 100% free to do whatever you want.
You can be absolutely selfish. Want the last piece of pizza? Take it. Want the whole thing for yourself? Do it. Want to work on your career? Do it. Want to travel? Do it. Want to change your university and city in one fell swoop? Do it. Seriously. I did it and it is the best thing I have done yet. That being said, I will never regret eating a whole pizza by myself either 😉
You learn to love yourself.
You can put yourself first. Take yourself on a date. Find a hobby and pursue it. Go on a holiday just for the sake of it. Find out what you like and don’t like. Once you get used to putting yourself first, you won’t let anyone treat you like a doormat.
You don’t have to answer to anyone.
You can up and leave for a week and you don’t have to explain anything. You can donate everything to charity and travel. You don’t have to be responsible. You can be as reckless as you like and you don’t have to worry about explaining the random stranger in your bed.
Shaving is optional.
Feel like ditching the razor for the winter? Do it. You weren’t planning on letting someone touch your legs, were you?
Life is free of drama.
He can’t make dinner because of work. His dog bites you. You forget your anniversary. His flatmates are the biggest stoners of the century. You get to avoid all of that when you’re single! Hooray! No more staying awake at midnight wondering why he didn’t reply to your perfectly crafted text and whether this “break” means that you’re breaking up or going on holiday together. (Just for the record, I have never done that). #dontneednoman.
You get the whole bed to yourself.
Feel like being a starfish for the night? Go right ahead. You’re a sleep-talker? So am I. Guess what? We can ramble about cows jumping over the fence for as long as we want. Feel like staying awake until 2am binge watching seasons of your favourite show? Go ahead. I’m certainly not going to stop you.
You can flirt*. Shamelessly.
Because you can’t do that when you’re tied to one person forever.
*Flirting also includes hooking up and any other physical activity that you can’t do when you’re tied to one person forever.
You learn that you’re never really “alone”.
I found that I could get a little wrapped up in my relationships and my whole life would revolve around that significant other. It didn’t happen a lot, but it did isolate me from friends and family. Now you can spend as much time as you want with them! Set up a standing sushi date. Go clubbing. Picnic in the park. Go on a road trip. When you are single you get to rediscover how awesome your friends are.
…And even if you are, then you learn to be okay with it.
This might be just me, but I really like being alone. I am so comfortable with being alone that I find it hard to let anyone into my life. Ever. You learn to be independent and that’s the best part about all of it. You realise that you don’t have to rely on anyone to help you and that you can do it by yourself.
You learn the art of not settling.
I’m surprised at how many people want to find “The One” and settle down. It seems like every girl has a laser focus. Being single is awesome. You get to learn how to treat yourself, so you can set the standard for men. You won’t hang around someone who puts you down, makes you feel awful or uses emotional blackmail just because “that’s who he is”. You don’t stay with someone because you’ve gotten comfortable and the idea of being alone is scary. Honey, the idea of being with someone you aren’t 100% crazy about should be the thing terrifying you. You become aware of your worth and who you want to spend your time. That could be the defining factor of an ‘okay’ life and an ‘amazing’ life.
I believe I’ve said my piece. I have never dated someone who I could see a “future” with, and that is okay. I’m single and that is okay. I don’t need speeches on how I’ll find my “one” one day. I’m quite happy living my life. Being in a relationship is nice, but being single is awesome.