We’re all waiting for it. That one moment when it seems like everything just falls into place.
We’re all waiting for it. That one moment when it seems like everything finally makes sense.
I came to Auckland to study. I am studying. I’m going through the motions. I kept going through the motions in hopes that I would have the click moment that I was waiting for. It has been ten long months. Ten.
I took papers that I was interested in, but I never really felt the click moment that I needed. I needed that feeling of knowing that I wasn’t wasting my time and that what I was doing would contribute to my future. I don’t like wasting my time and I hate feeling like I’m chasing my tail. Who does?
I was feeling unmotivated, uninspired, unchallenged and unhappy. I was struggling to find the willpower to get in the car and drive to university each morning. I was struggling to find the motivation to read through course materials or do assignment research. I was just struggling with living my life.
I have an immense fear of failure. I think it’s just human nature. My fear, however, has escalated since I moved to the city by myself. I came to study at a university that I had never visited and to continue a degree that I was only just beginning to wrap my head around. If you combine that with my lack of ‘click moment’ then I was starting to feel like the plans for my future were slipping through my fingers.
Until a couple of days ago.
I walked into class to find that we had a guest speaker for the morning. The speaker? It was Strahan Wallis, who is the managing director of Porter Novelli, New Zealand. I’ve attended a fair few lectures that have been held by guest speakers before, so I didn’t have high expectations for this one. I think it took one minute for me to be hooked and it was somewhere in the middle of his presentation when I had my click moment.
I finally had my moment that told me I was doing the right thing.
That was when I really started paying attention. The question section of the lecture was what interested me the most. Strahan had said how passionate he was about public relations, but there was a noticeable change in his body language as he was describing scenarios for us. He wasn’t just ‘talking up’ the profession. He wasn’t just acting as a hype man for a company. Call me crazy, but specific questions made his whole face change. You could see him change from driven director to someone who was completely wrapped up in communication. This profession has him. This is it.
I thought that much was obvious.
I had that same passion, but it began slipping away when I moved to Auckland. I got so caught up in just trying to do everything that I was supposed to do that I forgot why I moved here. My life began to revolve around university, and is that really living at all? I was looking for that click moment in my classes and I wasn’t getting it. I was so close to giving up. Really. I was so close to throwing in the towel and walking away. I hate the idea of it, but I also hated wasting my energies on something that was making me unhappy.
I uprooted my life and changed everything I knew to be in this city. Giving up is no longer an option. Things aren’t going to be perfect all of the time and there will be moments that will challenge me. I know that now. I’m better prepared now.
I almost skipped that lecture, but I didn’t. I chose to go and I’m incredibly glad I did. Having Strahan walk through the door reignited my passion.
I want this. Badly.