The Moment I’ve Been Waiting For.

We’re all waiting for it. That one moment when it seems like everything just falls into place.

We’re all waiting for it. That one moment when it seems like everything finally makes sense.

Image via Levo League

I came to Auckland to study. I am studying. I’m going through the motions. I kept going through the motions in hopes that I would have the click moment that I was waiting for. It has been ten long months. Ten.

I took papers that I was interested in, but I never really felt the click moment that I needed. I needed that feeling of knowing that I wasn’t wasting my time and that what I was doing would contribute to my future. I don’t like wasting my time and I hate feeling like I’m chasing my tail. Who does?

I was feeling unmotivated, uninspired, unchallenged and unhappy. I was struggling to find the willpower to get in the car and drive to university each morning. I was struggling to find the motivation to read through course materials or do assignment research. I was just struggling with living my life.

I have an immense fear of failure. I think it’s just human nature. My fear, however, has escalated since I moved to the city by myself. I came to study at a university that I had never visited and to continue a degree that I was only just beginning to wrap my head around. If you combine that with my lack of ‘click moment’ then I was starting to feel like the plans for my future were slipping through my fingers.

Until a couple of days ago.

I walked into class to find that we had a guest speaker for the morning. The speaker? It was Strahan Wallis, who is the managing director of Porter Novelli, New Zealand. I’ve attended a fair few lectures that have been held by guest speakers before, so I didn’t have high expectations for this one. I think it took one minute for me to be hooked and it was somewhere in the middle of his presentation when I had my click moment.

finally had my moment that told me I was doing the right thing.

That was when I really started paying attention. The question section of the lecture was what interested me the most. Strahan had said how passionate he was about public relations, but there was a noticeable change in his body language as he was describing scenarios for us. He wasn’t just ‘talking up’ the profession. He wasn’t just acting as a hype man for a company. Call me crazy, but specific questions made his whole face change. You could see him change from driven director to someone who was completely wrapped up in communication. This profession has him. This is it.

I thought that much was obvious.

I had that same passion, but it began slipping away when I moved to Auckland. I got so caught up in just trying to do everything that I was supposed to do that I forgot why I moved here. My life began to revolve around university, and is that really living at all? I was looking for that click moment in my classes and I wasn’t getting it. I was so close to giving up. Really. I was so close to throwing in the towel and walking away. I hate the idea of it, but I also hated wasting my energies on something that was making me unhappy.

I uprooted my life and changed everything I knew to be in this city. Giving up is no longer an option. Things aren’t going to be perfect all of the time and there will be moments that will challenge me. I know that now. I’m better prepared now.

I almost skipped that lecture, but I didn’t. I chose to go and I’m incredibly glad I did. Having Strahan walk through the door reignited my passion.

want this. Badly.

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “The Moment I’ve Been Waiting For.

    1. I think I just needed to find a certain area of PR that interested me 🙂 I had just submitted a campaign for events and the like, but it didn’t really ‘do it’ for me ha. Fingers crossed that I’ve found a good thing 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hi Kendel,

    I am visiting from the Growing Your Blog FB page. I’m new there. So I am curious about your “click” moment. What was it that he made you realize? That you want to study PR?

    Like

    1. Hi! So glad that you managed to find my blog from that group 🙂

      I think he just made me take it a bit more seriously. I was interested in PR and all the theory surrounding it, but I didn’t really have any experience in it beyond the mock campaign that I had submitted for class. I initially started PR as a ‘fallback’ measure because it has more (ish) jobs and it provides a bit more ‘wriggle room’ than other communication majors. Listening to Strahan just made me realise areas that I had passed over, like crisis or reputation management, are actually really interesting. Before I thought that I would maybe, might fit into the PR world and after listening to him I know that I can and that I really, really want to find a firm or in-house team that I like 🙂 I guess he turned it from an “I can get more job opportunities if I pursue this degree” to an “I really want a job in this profession” thought 🙂 He opened my eyes.

      Like

Share your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s