A while ago, I wrote a post about what it would be like to date me. I shared some pretty irreversible, unchangeable parts of my personality that would influence how I acted in the first stages of dating/a relationship. It was right after I took the Myer Briggs test, which gave me some pretty accurate results. (If you guys are still interested in it then you should click here to take the test yourself.)
I figured that it was a good time to write a follow-up post, since Valentine’s Day is so close. Now I’m assuming that we’ve gotten past the awkward I-like-you-so-much-that-I’m-going-to-run-away stage and we’re quite settled in our relationship. It’s nice, isn’t it? It’s all butterflies and sex, but wouldn’t you like to know what you’ve really gotten yourself into?
If you have a comfortable bed and coffee and/or milo then I’m yours.
If you have a nice bed then that increases my want to be around you. Chances are your bed is nicer than mine and I want to capitalise on the fact that I can sleep in it whenever I want. If you offer me coffee or milo in the morning then you are a beautiful human and my like for you increases dramatically. (Bonus points for someone who can make coffee or milo like a pro).
I will want to go to sleep straight after sex. None of this talking bullshit. Let me sleep.
I don’t know about you, but I am tired after sex. It is tiring. If you aren’t tired afterwards then you’re a) doing something wrong or b) probably fitter than I am. I’m in a happy, floaty cloud after sex and everything becomes very garbled after a couple of minutes. Once upon a time, I actually started falling asleep before my (now ex) boyfriend went home. If you know what’s good for you then you will let me sleep.
I can only cuddle for five maybe ten minutes at a time.
I overheat very easily. I also like my space. I will cuddle you, but I will always do the get the fuck away from me ninja move in the middle of the night. That is a polite way of saying that I will shove you off me whenever I feel like it.
Being over affectionate in public (unless I’ve been drinking) freaks me out.
I’m okay with making it obvious that we’re a couple, but I’m not okay with tongue wrestling in front of a crowd…unless I’ve been drinking. All my repressed affection seems to bubble over when I’ve been drinking. If you want me to be all cutesy and cuddle you in public then you need to get a couple of cocktails in me first.
I don’t like being called cutesy names. Ever. (But let me call you “babe” on occasion).
I’m a person, not a dog. I don’t need to be called “hun”, “babe”, “gorgeous” and every other name under the sun. You do not need to create pet names for me. You do not need to bribe me with cute scenarios. Trust me. The thought of it makes me gag. However, I will (on occasion) call you babe. It is a very rare occurrence, but it has been known to happen.
You can’t make me do anything that I don’t want to do.
Some males have this weird notion that a female will give in if they’re persistent enough. Um, no. It doesn’t work like that with me. I don’t care if you’re naked and asking for sex or wanting me to go pick up your dry cleaning. If my heart isn’t 100% in it (why would it be for laundry anyway?) then I simply won’t do it. Ever.
My neck is my ‘weak spot’.
If you want to get my attention then all you have to do is kiss my neck and you will have my 100% undivided attention. The same thing happens if you start tickling my back.
I don’t blab about my feelings.
Talking about my feelings is really hard for me. I don’t know what I want 90% of the time and you have to be okay with that. I like taking things one day at a time. I bolt as soon as I start to feel “trapped” by the situation. However, you will know if I like you/love you/need something to change in the relationship. I don’t really talk to many people about my relationships either. I like my business to stay my business…90% of the time. I am a female, so you have to accept the fact that my friends will know something about you.