Hi! Bonjour! Kia ora! Ciao! Hola! God morgon! Sup. Today I am publishing another guest post. This one is written by one of my very best blog friends in the whole entire world. She is an absolute babe and she knows how to write a good post. Trust me.
Growing up, I’ve always been attached to things really easily in my life. I get attached to my stuffed animals, my friends, and let’s not start about my sudden attachment with my clothes when I start spring cleaning.
But how healthy is it to be so attached to people and materialistic things? In the past few years, I’ve learned to let go my materialistic things. I wouldn’t say I’m a minimalistic person, but I’ve cleared enough things to clear my head up. All those Harry Potter trading cards? Finally in the trash can where they belong – sorry, I love Harry Potter but trading cards aren’t my thing. All that make-up I was hoarding to realize that I don’t even wear heavy make up?! Or how about all those tank tops from 5 years ago that I keep “just in case” I might wear them again?
Getting rid of all those items was so refreshing. Not to make room for more useless crap, but to declutter my space and mind. I do believe that a cluttered environment affects our mind and mood. When I tossed multiple garbage bags into the trash can, I realized how many things I’ve been clinging onto for stupid reasons (eg. I love Harry Potter, or I need these plastic sleeves just in case) and the amount of money I wasted on these items, and probably the energy “shopping” for them.
But when it comes to relationships, that’s a lesson I’m still learning. Just a few months ago, I was clinging onto a relationship with hopes that we’ll still talk again, work things through and get back together. I was at the point where I didn’t know if I still loved him or the memories of him.
It was just a few weeks ago that I realized, I need to let go of him. It’s easier said than done, trust me. I was in a debate with myself – do I continue trying to be friends with him or should I let it go and move on with my life?
The more I held onto our “friendship” the more harm I did to myself. I was blinded with the hope and joy of him coming back into my life that I didn’t realize our friendship was one way. Looking back, our conversations would also be started by me and whenever I wanted to hang out, he’d ignore me. He wouldn’t take even one minute to start a conversation with me when I knew he’s constantly talking to his other friends. Not talking to him killed my mood several times. I found myself upset on a Saturday night over the fact that he wouldn’t reply to my texts.
How pathetic is that?
Even if he was a friend, I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. But he’s not. He’s an ex that I loved dearly but he’s not my friend anymore, no matter how hard I try. I don’t want a one way friendship.
Letting him go, as a loved one and as a “friend” made me happier and more refreshed. He was toxic, he wasn’t doing me any good. I look forward to the New Year without him and I’m not upset over that. I’m looking forward to moving out of my city without any more doubts of him holding me back.
Letting go is always hard but you have to give yourself enough credit that you can live without him/her or your favourite sweater from 10 years ago. There will be a time and place for new memories and new things to hold onto in your life.
I’ve learned to let go of my materialistic items but it’s time I need to learn to let go of people – toxic or not for the benefit of myself. I put 100% in my relationships with everyone and if they can’t meet me halfway, why should I waste my energy and time, right?
I’m going to be honest – it’s scary. You’re going to doubt yourself. You’re going to wish you never cut that person out of your life. You’re going to wish you still had that pair of shoes in your closet. You’re going to start remembering all the good times. You might even spend a few nights crying over what happened.
But it will get better. Time would heal that wound and time would show you something (or someone) new.
Be patient and be thankful.