Well, I have another guest post for you today! This is written by the same guy who came up with this amazing piece and I am super excited to have him back on my blog! If you read his first post then you know that this one is going to be brilliant. Side note: I’m still looking for people to do guest posts. If you want to write one, have already written one but would like to write another or know someone who wants to write one then go check out this post.
I rarely dream and when I do I never remember them for more than the time it takes me to get the first cup of coffee in my hands. (That’s not long, for the benefit of anyone who has never met me).
There was one dream however, that I do remember as vividly as when I awoke after it. I don’t know if they ever have significance, I suspect not beyond a few recycling thoughts when you go to sleep. But who knows ? Perhaps.
This dream I found myself walking my two dogs (scarcely older than puppies) in my local park. In the middle of the night I might add, also in the pouring rain. For some reason this wasn’t strange in the slightest as far as the dream went. I let the dogs off their leads as no-one was around and I went to sit on one of the large park benches with the wide roofs while I watched them. As ever they ran and chased each other in and out of muddy puddles with the amount of joy that only puppies can.
I checked my watch and found it was 3.15am, despite the rain I could see in the moonlight what was happening around me. I reached into my inside jacket pocket for my cigarettes and as I lit one I heard a male well spoken voice beside me saying “do you think I could trouble you for one of those ?”. Without a thought I offered the lighter & open packet and watched an enormous hand dexterously remove one.
”Thank you” came back the voice and even though for some reason I couldn’t turn to look at him I knew this was Death. He sat beside me and we watched my puppies running back and forth, occasionally they would run up to Death and put their paws on his knees while he fluffed the fur on their heads and scratched their ears. My dogs seemed to be able to look at him without trouble yet I still could not.
He asked me what I was doing at that hour and as I explained that I was having trouble sleeping he simply explained, “it’s not uncommon you know, I run into people at all hours of the day and night”. I asked him the same question to which he explained that whenever he got a small amount of free time he always sat somewhere quiet to reflect, “times are rather busy recently” he offered with a small sign of weariness.
But right now I’m not on duty in case you were wondering” and with that we listened to the sound of the rain on the tin roof above our heads together. I tried to turn my head to look at him again but I couldn’t physically turn in his direction, only in every other direction. He sensed this and said to me “you can’t see me, not until it’s your time, that’s the rule I’m afraid. I’m in all sorts of places all the time and it’s not fair on people to see me in their midst, they don’t take it all that well I found”.
Then he stood up to leave and I was aware of a huge black horse that was standing suddenly in front of me. I could see his legs only as he sat in the saddle. “Thank you for the smoke, next time we meet I’ll return the favour” he said as his horse turned away from me. I didn’t have the urge to ask when that would be either. A huge hand reached for mine and as we shook hands briefly his hand was warm and so large it engulfed mine entirely.
He read my mind and said “I’m glad you didn’t ask, I wouldn’t have told you as I simply don’t know when. I DO know that nearly everyone asks for more time when we meet in an official capacity, I don’t think you will have unfinished business though and that’ll make my work a pleasure for once”
My dogs ran back over to me, wagging their tails at him, he said “you have lovely dogs, I know you’ll take good care of them. Until next time then”. And before I could say goodbye he was simply no longer there. My dogs looked suddenly left and right for him and I realized that he had just simply vanished. I had the sense that next time may not be the last time though.
That was my dream, a recycling of a conversation I’d had with my daughter recently about how there was no reason to be afraid of dying. I’m taking from this the very comforting fact that I don’t have any fear of this inevitable event whatsoever. Strange as it seems I think I’ll embrace it gladly, either as a relief from whatever I’m dying from or the result of simply having had enough. I don’t have burning desires to achieve anything I haven’t already, I’m very, very relaxed about the idea of my own mortality. I think about this dream often, when the subject comes up and it reaffirms my thoughts on the subject. I don’t have an afterlife waiting for me or a reincarnation prospect to hold on to, I’m not religiously inclined, just simply at ease with the fact that my time is short and I don’t have a bucket list that can never be completed in time. Just simply not afraid of having and end just like a beginning and a duration.
I can’t put it any other way that I’m not afraid of dying because I’ve already lived and you know something ? I loved every minute of it.
Besides, I know Death owes me a cigarette and I have no doubt he’ll remember too. I think I’ll be pleased to see him and discover what he actually looks like.