Well, as this photo shows, I am 100% alive and I have enough energy to go through the ritual of putting on clothes. I think that is nothing short of a miracle. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes for a second there. Whether that is a slight exaggeration or not is beyond the point ;] This is also a reflection of my thoughts for the week. As you can tell, they are not too dandy.
For the past couple of days I have been driving myself crazy; thoughts have been swirling around in my head at a million miles an hour. It has been dizzying. Some days I enjoy the ride and tell myself that it isn’t going to last forever; some days I just want to get the heck off the ride and run away. This time I went with the second option and I am currently relaxing at my mother’s house on the beachfront. It is quite nice but more to the point: exactly what I needed.
Living in the city is great and I really do love it. I’m a city girl at heart but sometimes I need to escape. I need to get away from the hustle and bustle, the pressure of the city, the college life and drunk nights. I need to get away from the constant, instant communication I have with people. You see, when I’m at the beach, I have no cellphone coverage which is a blessing and a curse. When I’m here I get the chance to “disconnect” to a certain extent and I have to admit, it has been nice not checking my phone every two seconds.
I’m currently sitting in bed, all snuggled up like a burrito as I listen to the rain hit the roof. It is a calming thing. I love the rain. I’m that weirdo who will see rain and smile…Unless I’m about to leave for class. I will definitely pitch a fit in that situation. I find rain to be very cleansing. Have you ever just stood in the rain? I am willing to bet not. That is neither here nor there; it’s beside the point.
This weekend is all about “doing me”. Sounds kinda kinky, no? ;] This is all about figuring out what I want and what I need right now. These thoughts I’ve been having, while they are just thoughts, will soon come to impact other aspects of my life. I know they will. So, with that in mind, I escaped for the weekend to just focus on myself. It is probably the best thing I could have done. I can think of a couple of things that could have been fun but hey, they’ll keep…I hope.
This weekend is all about focusing on myself, slogging through the course readings and lecture notes, finishing up my poetry and bringing myself back to centre. Not forgetting about the act of spiriting a bunch of food from my mother’s house to my own ;]
As I sit here I am content.
As I sit here I am happy.
As I sit here I am able to think.
As I sit here I am gaining clarity.
As I sit here I am able to just be.