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The uncomfortable truth

As I was listening to my video I made the other day I said somewhere that I felt like I haven’t really ‘ranted’ on this blog. I know I have had a .couple of angry moments but nothing as angsty as my old blog. I try to keep away from that now. Lets see how long that lasts ;] So whilst I haven’t ranted my ass off on here, I guess I haven’t been as true as I could be either. For some reason, I was so focussed on filtering out all the stupid teenage stuff out that I actually filtered out a large part of my life.

Truth is: my life has been insane lately. Maybe not on the outside but I definitely have a knack at keeping things bottled up until tick, tick, tick boom. I feel like I am at that moment right now. I am hovering riiiiiight on the edge of spontaneously combusting so here are some truths that I have been avoiding:

✚ I am really uncomfortable in my body. I don’t remember the last time I have been truly happy with the way that I look. Honestly, for more years than I would like to count I have looked into the mirror and thought ‘ick’. I don’t know, there are just a few things I would like to change.

✚ I have been seriously questioning if I want to get married…ever. I don’t really know what caused these feelings but they’ve been lingering around for a year or so. Marriage is a beautiful thing and I know it is but I just don’t know if it is for me. I could quite happily live with someone forever without signing a piece of paper. I mean, it’s basically the same thing, right?

✚ This study abroad is causing just a lot of stress if I am being 100% honest. I may be over thinking some things but I only do that when I really care about something. Right now all I want to do is run away and forget it all…or pull out of the programme altogether. At times I really don’t think it is worth it and I’ll be happier to backpack around Europe for six months by myself.

✚ I am just overwhelmed.

✚ Boys. Why do we need them? This thing with my friend is going well but I still don’t know what is going on and it is doing my friggin’ head in. Honestly. I just want a straight yes or no at this point. Hell.

✚ It has been a month and I think I’m going to spontaneously combust any day now. Tick, tick, tick…

✚ Money, honey. Isn’t that always the cause of stress? Ha. Oh, university you are a cruel mistress.

✚ I am just overwhelmed × 2. Really overwhelmed guys. The ‘to do’ list is insane.

✚ I really don’t know why I was in such a rush to ‘grow up’.

This has been a really shitty week.

Discussion

9 thoughts on “The uncomfortable truth

  1. sometimes its so nice to get it out, huh? I’m so glad you shared this stuff. It makes us all feel a little more sane to know someone else feels like we do.

    Posted by Morgan | May 2, 2014, 4:36 pm
  2. Let it all out before you blow up! I learned it’s always best to let it out than keep it in :) It’s a shit week but it’ll get better! And don’t look down upon yourself too much, I’m sure you’re a wonderful person with a good lookin body ;)

    Posted by Jess | May 2, 2014, 5:23 pm
  3. I can promise you will look back and wonder why you stressed so much ;) Just keep trucking along, and it will all be okay! PS. Getting it out and ranting is totally necessary for mental health.

    Posted by Janna | May 6, 2014, 2:12 pm
  4. I hope you’re feeling a bit better about everything now. I know from experience that moving abroad is a big thing and takes so much planning but if your experience is even remotely as good as mine was, it’ll all be worth it!

    As for whether or not you want to get married, why not just see what happens? There’s no point agonising about it too much, one day I think you’ll just know, one way or the other what makes you happiest.

    Posted by Lisa | May 8, 2014, 12:22 am
    • I am definitely feeling better now…by and large because I have decided to pull out of the study abroad programme haha. It really is a great opportunity but I don’t think it is one for me at this very minute. The universe just isn’t working in my favour right now so I’m trying to make the best of a slightly messed up situation. That means studying here and travelling later…which I don’t mind at all! :]

      I’m not really agonising over the marriage thing, per se. I just don’t think it is something for me. Maybe. It was just a random thought I had when I was writing this post so I thought I would just chuck it in there too ;] I’m not planning on getting married for a looooooooooooong time yet so you never know, I could change my mind in the years to come!

      Posted by Little Misadventures | May 18, 2014, 10:33 am

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